Imaginative name they have there. It’s the type of name I’d expect Katie Price or Kim Kardashian to come up with. In fact, judging by the decor, it’s the type of restaurant either of them would probably design. When you think of a steakhouse you certainly don’t imagine purple backlit walls and fake trees dressed with fairy lights. This is a restaurant designed for people who crave being seen. It’s basically like the VIP in a Vegas nightclub, although instead it’s closer to the VIP in a club in Essex. This is a steakhouse that caters for ‘models’, or rather for women who like to think they are models. Either way its a strange concept, as models, be it fake ones or real ones are just about the last people to ever munch on a big old clump of steak. This probably explains why so many other dishes like ceviche and salads litter the menu.
To start things off we got an unusual loaf of bread with a blue cheese oil dripping off it and something like a pesto dip to go with it. It sure was one stodgy, stale loaf, only helped down by plenty of that dip.
The Lil’ Brgs (£10.50) are two wagyu beef sliders. Apart from having possibly the most annoying name I’ve seen on any menu, they weren’t too bad. The beef was tasty enough, although it has to be said I don’t really care for this whole wagyu beef fascination. It’s the ‘thrice cooked chips’ of the beef world. Something that has this association with greatness, but really doesn’t ever live up to the hype.
For main the 400g Ribeye (£33) with a side of Mac & Cheese (£5) was again fine, but hardly memorable. It certainly wasn’t a piece of beef that could justify the price tag. This price is right up there with Hawksmoor and Goodman, but the quality of this beef was some way off.
My partner had the 72 Hour Braised Short Rib with a Worcestershire Sticky Glaze and Parsnip Mash (£19.50). It was that 72 hour promise that drew her in. But the cooking here really didn’t reflect that. It was all too neat and tidy for a slow cooked dish, and there just wasn’t enough of it. There was no way you were getting your fingers dirty on this dainty little dish. It was the size zero version of the short rib world.
The staff were fine, but it was annoying to be told just as the waiter opened our second bottle of wine that he needed the table from us. We could drink it up at the packed bar if wanted. I declined his offer. The bar here isn’t worth the trip either, it’s basically a cramped space running alongside the tables where people just push and pout. So after a poor meal, which was expected, it’s safe to say I’d never come back here. The only reason I’d be tempted is if I was single and wanted to pick-up. That’s about all this restaurant is good for. Maybe if you like eating in a tacky nightclub then this is the place for you. But if you want a good steak, or even a good meal, then go just about anywhere else in London.